Crush of the Week: Fierce and Flazeda
by Tess Adair
A number of lovely queens graced the stage of RuPaul’s Drag Race last year. One such beauty called herself Pearl Liaison.
She’s pretty fabulous. She was a bit cold at first, but in the middle of the season, Ru threw a metaphorical cold glass of water at her, and she turned it around. She loosened up on stage, and she opened up more to the audience and her castmates. She proved herself to be a warm, thoughtful, intelligent person, and she earned a lot of fans.
Yeah, girl cleaned house with the competition. She kicked some drag ass.
But uh, funnily enough, people weren’t just interested in her for her drag or her general entertainment genius. Nope, they had something else on their minds.
See, it turns out that while Pearl is a gorgeous woman...she’s also a beautiful man.
See? Told you. Look, even Pearl is not immune to Pearl.
Right there with ya, kid. You’re so fucking cute.
See that? You just got away with wearing a shirt of yourself.
I feel like you’re daring me to do something and I don’t want it is but I want to know. What are you doing, Boy Pearl? (Or Matt or whatever. Names.)
You’ve got a pretty classy range of b&w, by the way. Love the full-on demure-hipster thing. It’s almost like you’re hiding all the sassy Pearl-ness underneath.
Yeah, like that. Like you probably know how to hacky sack (that’s a verb, right?) and you like craft beers and hikes. Wait, you’re not from Seattle, right?
Didn’t think so. Well, that’s okay. Love you anyway. Although, hey, if you were, you could have used that to explain the whole passive/sleepy thing in the first half of the season.
Alright, I see we’re not ready to joke about it yet. I understand. Let’s talk about something else.
Watcha got, Boy Pearl?
Well that’s helpful.
You know what, we don’t have to talk. I can just go back to objectifying you.
Oh, Boy Pearl. Your tears won’t shame me. Nor will the likelihood that your sexuality gravitates toward the phallic. I’m just here to objectify. And in objectification, nothing is sacred.
Besides, I like it when boys cry. Vulnerable boys are hot.
Judge if you want, girl, but don’t act like you don’t like it, too.
I thought so.
What was I talking about? Oh, yeah.
Hey, boy. You’re pretty.
Oh! Oh my. Hello there. I, uh, I think you lost something. You know what? Nevermind. You’re good just like that.
Yeah. You’re good.
Well heyyyy. That's a pretty sexy come hither look. Uh, are we doing this, Boy Pearl? Is this happening?
Rude. Well fuck you too then.
Unless you change your mind, of course. I’ll be here.
I regret nothing.