by Tess Adair
So, the “Buzzfeed” list style crap is...probably a large part of why the internet is such a sucking black hole.
But it did give us this guy.
Aww, he’s trying to dress all smart and cute. I like it. I mean, Buzzfeed is still a black hole, but he’s like...the nicest part of the black hole.
Yeah, sorry, bro, that’s the best you’re getting. That, and this post spot. Which uh...is here to objectify you, so...it’s really more for me than for you.
I mean, can you blame me? Look at that broody side-eye. Mmm.
Hey there. Whatcha thinkin’ about?
Uhh...uh...yeah? You’re...you’re having thoughts about...your pants? What thoughts are those, exactly?
Uhhhhh what? I’m not totally sure how we got to that. So, you were thinking about your pants and being without them...and then oil? I mean, look, I’m down with it. Oil yourself up as much as you want, sir. I will definitely click on that link.
Yep, that’s fine, too. I am not opposed to your pearl dance, or whatever the hell that is. I am on board. Please continue.
Or that. You can also go lay shirtless in your bed with a puppy. Actually why don’t you just do that all the time, forever, and take like 50 pictures of it a day? Okay cool, get started on that.
Aww, hi puppy.
And heyyy arms. How you doing there.
Fun fact: this adorable human being’s name is Eugene. Eugene Lee Yang. I mean, holy crap, if you’d asked me two years ago if I thought there were any smoking hot Eugenes out there, I would have laughed and pompously refused to answer you. Then this motherfucker stomps in to prove me an idiot. Thanks, Eugene.
No, really. Thanks Eugene. Thank you for your beautiful presence.
And these beautiful puppies, and your rampant willingness to photograph yourself with them.
Wow, Eugene. That’s some mouth you got there.
And some shirtlessness. Wow, yeah, that is some excellent shirtlessness right there.
Oh my. Oh my.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING SIR. WHAT IS THAT PLEASE.